You Can’t Make This Stuff Up.

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(NOTE: This entry guest blogged by Johnhp)

The Republican party of Illinois has just admitted they can’t field a candidate from Illinois. They are on the verge of inviting Alan Keyes to lose in November against Barak Obama. Obama had a 20 point lead over Jack Ryan before the latter dropped out of the Illinois Senate race.

You may have heard the story. Mr. Ryan allegedly asked his wife to perform oral sex on him in front of people at a sex club. When she tearfully refused he reportedly told her that she was ruining his mood. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh compassionate conservatism.

At any rate the Republicans have yet to field a candidate. They tried to get Mike Ditka to run but he didn’t. Today they interviewes a dozen or so people for the job. One of those, Alan Keyes of Maryland. i hope Keyes stays out. i couldn’t care less that he is from maryland. Our constitution allows for him to become a resident of the state any time up to and including the day of the election.

i have my heart set on the choice of another candidate. Daniel R. Vovak. He is new to Illinois (only lived here for a week), but he has something none of the other candidates have. No, not a chance to win; NONE of them have that. Mr. Vovak wears a powdered wig and lives in his Mustang convertable (he calls it “Air Ford One”). i can see the debates now…

If you are all as interested as i am in seeing something like this, please send emails of support for Mr. Vovak to the Chair of the Illinois GOP. Her name is Judy Baar Topinka. chairman@ilgop.org

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You Can’t Make This Stuff Up.

14 Comments

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14 Responses

  1. 4)
    Paul said on 8/4/2004 @ 5:25am PT: [Permalink]

    Love Alan Keyes. His speeches sound like Lincoln could have given them.

    You guys confuse "compassionate conservatism" with a human being. Men are fallible, fallen from grace, sinners needing salvation from Jesus Christ. "No one is good, no not one."

    Conservatism is a belief and it is already compassionate by default. Give a man a fish (liberalism) and he is feed for that day. Teach a man to fish (conservatism) and he is fed for life. He may go on to create a fishing company, hire employees, and they all pay taxes. If the fisherman then beats his wife to death with a fishing pole, that has nothing to do with conservatism. Johnhp, you should know better than that.

  2. 5)
    johnhp said on 8/4/2004 @ 5:38am PT: [Permalink]

    Paul,

    Why reject Christianity with that give a man a fish horsecrap? Didn’t Jesus tell us that when we fed the hungry we were feeding him? That when we were slaking the thirst of the thirsty we were slaking his thirst?

    Quoting Christianity and rejecting one of its most important principles in one post. Shame.

  3. 6)
    Johanna said on 8/4/2004 @ 6:00am PT: [Permalink]

    Paul,

    I don’t think you can "generalize" conservatives and liberals the way you just did. I think there are many shades of grey. For example, in your analogy, I happen to agree with the "teach him to fish" philosopy.

    However, should I see a homeless person on the street and have a sandwich in my hand, I’ll hand it over to him in a heartbeat. No questions asked.

    John,

    The "other blog" sure is having a hard time letting go of me, huh? I bet it’s exactly what happened with Brad. Brad left, and his name was brought up in every other post! LET IT GO ALREADY!

  4. 8)
    Johanna said on 8/4/2004 @ 7:53am PT: [Permalink]

    Thanks John.

    But, ugh – You can’t begin to understand how disgusted I was . I was just sitting there reading stuff (and feeling bad for you) and to say I was ‘outraged’ is truly an understatement.

    But then again, all the stuff that I was observing, you had been pointing out right from the start. They evade the issue when you have a point. They change their words & opinions like a chameleon changes colors. They make small comments (like fat jokes?!), they’re rude, crude and they can’t taste their own medicine.

    "Oh, it’s my site, so I can do what I want. Wah, wah, wah.".

    What is he, a teenager??! I’d love to give him a piece of my mind, but then I just remind myself he isn’t worth it.

    Ugh. Sorry. I had to get that out of my system.

  5. 9)
    Paul said on 8/4/2004 @ 8:11am PT: [Permalink]

    Yes – of course we are to help those in need, feed those who are hungry, help the sick, visit them in jail, etc. That is fine for those who cannot help themselves. I know for a fact that some decide to not work for a time because they know they can get help from the government. I also disagree with the role of government in feeding the masses. Perhaps faith-based organzations, who are already doing it too, are better suited.

    Speaking of helping –

    Send a soldier or soldiers in Iraq a care package. Here is a list of acceptable things to send:

    Newspapers
    magazines
    Bags StarBucks Coffee
    Cracker jacks popcorn
    Bags Crunch N Munch popcorn
    Tubes Chap Stick lip balm
    Hand Sanitizer bottles
    Packages of Wet Ones
    LOTS OF GUM
    Bags of Candy Suckers
    Bags of Candy – M&M’s
    Bottles of Foot Powder
    Canisters of Kool-Aid
    Bags of Trail Mix
    Case of Copenhagen Chewing Tobacco
    Bags of lemon drops
    Packs of cheese N crackers

  6. 10)
    Brad said on 8/4/2004 @ 8:55am PT: [Permalink]

    Paul said:
    "I know for a fact that some decide to not work for a time because they know they can get help from the government"

    Then you also know for a fact (based on your rigorous knowledge of the Welfare system) that 75% of those receiving aid from the Government are children.

    Perhaps you’d like them to "decide to work", but until your "faith based" organizations can guarantee that those children won’t go hungry and without a roof over their head, I think it’s the right thing to do to make sure they are taken care of.

    Don’t know if Jesus would agree or not, but you can be sure to ask him at your next strategy meeting.

  7. 11)
    Johanna said on 8/4/2004 @ 9:47am PT: [Permalink]

    Paul,

    "I know for a fact that some decide to not work for a time because they know they can get help from the government."

    I agree with you. Unfortunately, there will always be some shmucks who take advantage of the system . Hopefully with proper guidelines, a government can weed those people out, but a system is rarely ever perfect. That being said, I don’t think it’s fair to deprive those who deserve the "food" just because there are some who will take advantage.

    If we were to live like this, then you should have to pay for fraudulent charges on your credit card, even though someone else was irresponsible and stole YOUR card…

  8. 12)
    Teddy said on 8/4/2004 @ 11:10am PT: [Permalink]

    I’m not much for wide-based social spending programs, however…

    The one area I don’t apply that belief to is children. No child should have to suffer because of their parent(s) bad luck/laziness/infirmity/insert reason here. And though it may cost more short-term, it saves money long-term.

  9. 14)
    johnhp said on 8/5/2004 @ 6:50am PT: [Permalink]

    Yeah, its a really good idea to blame the un and under-employed on a system that needs un and under employment to keep its wages low. God forbid we look at the biggest feeders at the trough. Companies like Haliburton.

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