Before we point out what a classic phony “conservative” Aaron Goldstein — of the site which (apparently without irony) calls itself IntellectualConservative.com — actually is, we must point out still more apparent lack of irony from the site which gives Goldstein a reason to feel as if he is part of the human race.
Proudly tagged on each article page on the site, in the top-left hottest piece of real estate, is this humble self-description:
An example of that “intellectual conservatism” on one page, we suppose, would be this item and graphic currently on their front page:
Okay. So now you know what kind of site we’re dealing with here, and have a small idea of the “intellectually conservative” geniuses who publish there.
With that in mind, one of those geniuses is Aaron Goldstein, who seems to have drawn the short neo-con straw this week and so must put in his sad, all-too-tired duty into the Defending the Indefensible on Behalf of The Powers-That-Be beat.
Goldstein has apparently been assigned (why else would he show up with such a small dull knife to such a big boy’s gunfight?) to try and knock HBO/NBC’s Jim Lampley down a few pegs. He fails. Miserably. But he doesn’t fail to retread every lame, fake conservative line, apology, distraction, distortion, misdirection, justification and deflection in the Karl Rove playbook! Attaboy, Aaron! Fox News should be calling any day now!
In truth, Goldstein’s sad little shot at Lampley — he of the mighty Election 2004 as “the biggest crime in the history of the nation” statement last week — likely deserves to be ignored. But it’s so much fun laughing at these Democracy Hating Conspiracy Theorists like Goldstein that sometimes we just can’t help ourselves…Even if we must stoop to their lowered level of discourse in order to do it…
We’ll stick to just the silliest and/or tired-est of classic neo-con buffoonery employeed by Goldstein in his embarrassingly feeble attempt at discrediting Lampley, even though there’s so much more fun that one could have with him.
First, his headline takes two classic shots from the Neo-Con 101 Handbook. Both of them miss by a mile. “Poor Sport: Jim Lampley and the State of American Liberalism” goes right for the classic dismissive neo-con name calling (“Poor Sport”) and then the attempt to use the L-word (“Liberalism”) right off the bat. First sign that a neo-con is bereft of both intellectualism and conservatism? The lazy use of the neo-con codeword, “Liberal” as pejorative, in lieu of an actual argument.
Well, mee-ow, Aaron! You shore told him!
Now onto the “substance” of Goldstein’s ill-conceived screed…
No, Aaron. He didn’t. He did, however, mention that the fact that Vegas oddsmakers — who’d stand to lose millions on an ill-concieved betting line and thus deal in the best available information when setting their odds — was one of the things that appropriately set off alarm bells for him on Election Day. He did not, however, claim that the Vegas oddsmakers were the reason for the fraudulent election as you assert.
That sort of misframing and grotesque twisting of the argument is typical of the state of Freedom-Hating American Neo-Conservatism these days however, so we’re all well used to that sort of thing by now.
Goldstein then shoots yet another blank:
Funny, we thought the “exit polling was unreliable” because of the “reluctant Bush voter theory”. Or was it the “placement of the pollsters” who were far enough away from the exits that George W. Bush voters simply couldn’t find them, whereas Kerry voters overwhelmingly had no problem? Or wasn’t it supposed to be the fact that the weather was bad that day? But only, apparently, above the heads of Bush voters where it was too rainy to answer pollsters while Kerry voters walked under nothing but sunshine in the same states, in the same counties and in the same precincts all day long.
It gets so terribly confusing remembering which unsubstantiated claim/excuse we’re supposed to stick to, so we’ll go with York, Goldstein and the over sampled women theory for now. Why not? One made up theory based in fantasy is as good as the next we suppose.
Back to Goldstein. See if you can following this one:
A) Will someone please inform Goldstein that Warren Mitofsky is not just some pollster who wrote a report, but rather the pollster responsible for the Exit Polling on Election Day? Both here and in Ukraine, by the way, where incorrect Exit Poll numbers meant fraud in that case, but apparently not here. And B) Please let him know that if his Exit Polls were so incredibly wrong (for reasons which nobody can actually explain, but that we’re all supposed to simply accept) why would Goldstein be so inclined to trust Mitofsky’s own report on Mitofsky’s own polling (the answer to that likely lies in the fact that Goldstein didn’t seem to realize who the hell Mitofsky was) and C) Simply saying that Exit Polls were “overestimated”, when there is no evidence of same, does not make it so. Kinda like saying there are WMD in Iraq, or that they can fund their own reconstruction with oil revenue, or that Aaron Goldstein enjoys having hot wet barnyard sex with billygoats, does not make it so. (Though a report by blogger Brad Friedman of BradBlog.com has indicated that Aaron Goldstein does indeed enjoy having hot wet barnyard sex with billygoats.)
Back to the barnyard…
As Rush would say (you know him, dontcha, Aaron?): “Stop the tape!”
No, Aaron, “the exit poll argument” was not “essentially shot to hell”. And merely saying that it was does not make it so, anymore than what BradBlog.com blogger, Brad Friedman, said about you and how much you love hot wet barnyard sex with billygoats. Watch out for the nubby little horns, by the way! They’re sharper than they look!
Goldstein attempts to get our goat again in the next graf:
Funny, Goldstein just out and out lied to you!
Didn’t he previously tell us just three or four paragraphs earlier that “Lampley claimed that the election was fraudulent because the odds makers in Las Vegas had favored John Kerry by a 2 to 1 margin?” Now he’s claiming that Lampley said exit polls “caused” the biggest crime in the history of the nation??? (Which he didn’t!)
This guy can’t keep his own bullshit straight in his own article!
Poor, Aaron. Mind the mighty kick of the hindlegs! They may be small, but those little billygoats know how to kick! But you probably know that by now.
Outmatched, Goldstein next attempts to soften up Lampley by giving his due to his excellent sportscasting creds, only to attempt to deliver a one-two sucker punch in the next paragraph. Unfortunately, it’s Goldstein whose played for the sucker with this neo-con classic:
Youch! Goldstein attempts, in a single condescending swoop, to play the Commie Pinko Card and the Mentally Unbalanced Card all in the same breath! That’s gotta smart! What, no “card-carrying ACLU member” tag thrown in for extra credit?
No worries, the big desperate “Liberal, Liberal, Liberal, Liberal, Liberal” Card finale is still to come. But first, one more desperate rabbit punch out of left field. That’s right, the classic Neo-Con Misdirect! No, it’s not the expected Bill Clinton Card, it’s the Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez Card! Three — count ’em three! – full paragraphs of horse-manure and smokescreen about the election in Venezuela, which Goldstein faults Lampley for not writing about, and which has absolutely nothing, zero, nada, to do with any of Lampley’s posts on this matter whatsoever!
But boy can that Goldstein guy can type stuff! Words! Many of them! And all in a row!
And yes…the favored weapon of the Intellectually Deficient “Intellectual Conservative” are always best kept for last as Goldstein manages to squeeze at least eight — count ’em, eight! — uses of the word “Liberal” or “Liberalism” into his penultimate graf in one last, pathetic, nay most-desperate-of-all attempt to make his RushO’ReillyCouterHannity Bones.
Sorry, Aaron. There’s a few hundred in line ahead of you already who know how to pull that one off with a bit more panache and bit less obviousness. They’ll take care of the George W. Bush blowjob so you can rest easy. Unless you feel like fluffing Dennis Prager while you’re waiting!
Come on back when you’ve got an original way to try and shame a fellow American who has put his reputation on the line because he gives a damn about the democracy you’d rather cover up with goat turds, lies, smears and innuendos.
America is done with haters like you, Goldstein. Those of your ilk who feel it necessary to destroy a person and/or their reputation when you are simply unable and/or unequipped to destroy their argument. You’re a dinosaur, Aaron. Move on. Get over it. Your time has come and gone. You and your ilk have failed the country and the world with your disingenous elistist hate-mongering denial and politics of personal destruction.
We’re sick of it. Sick of you. And sick of watching you people drag the rest of us down into the filthy sewer with you.
Go back to the barn. Billy is waiting. You can give it to him in precisely the same location where your illegitimate “President” has given it to America and all of the Freedom Loving Peoples of the World for the past four years.
Then again, we’d hate to lower the discourse.
…CONTACTS…
Aaron Goldstein, Poet, Intellectual Neo-Conservative, Goat Fucker
IntellectualConservative.com Editors
UPDATE: This just in via Email from Lampley:
Consider it done, Lamps.
Don’t hold back Brad.
so… you’re saying Goldstein is a goat-fucker?
:O
I’m shocked, I tell you…. Shocked!!
The neocon element, like the "goat herder", has been advocating violence recently.
They hope in public that judges who do not rule as they would have them rule "will suffer the consequences". One judge was the target of violence when her husband and mother were murdered.
On neocon radio:
Clear Channel radio host Glenn Beck said he was "thinking about killing [filmmaker] Michael Moore" and pondered whether "I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it," before concluding: "No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out — is this wrong? (link here).
Meanwhile the war they love is approaching the cost of the Korean War:
"We can’t be any more certain about the trend of the defense budget than we can be about the number of troops that will be deployed overseas…" (link here) and no-one knows where it will end.
must be having a "bad herd day"
With intellectuals like this, no need to search for dummies.
I haven’t seen Mitoksky on TV publicly explaining his discrepancy bullshit, but we all know his rationalization for the polls was a business decision not a scientific explanation. Anyone who understands science knows the principal understanding that correlation doesn’t prove causation.
-Bad weather affects both voters.
-Maybe there were more women sampled because there were more women voters.
-Shy Bush voters, that one is plain laughable.
I expected neo-conservative nuts to put a stain on real science with their right wing nuttery.
But Mitofsky should know better.
Rationalization is not science, shame on him.
Kenneth Blackwell loses a court battle:
http://www.commonblog.com/
The link above is quoted below:
You may remember that attorney Cliff Arnebeck, a board member of Common Cause Ohio, was threatened with sanctions for his activism concerning the recount effort and other suits related to the November 2nd, 2004, election in Ohio.
We believe that such an action (sanctioning activists for questioning the outcome of an election) would have a chilling effect on others’ efforts to raise reasonable doubts about election administration and election validity — and indeed we believe that was the intent behind the motions for sanctions, which were entered by Attorney General Petro at the official request of Secretary of State Kenneth Blackwell.
Therefore, we’re glad to know that Blackwell’s effort failed. In an email today, Cliff sent us the good news that, "Decisions [were] issued today denying the motions for sanctions in the elections contests we filed."
Sometimes the good guys win, even in Ohio!
Thank you, Brad. A stinging attack on Goldstein, a complete moron. And he calls himself an "intellectual"…God help us. It seems that people who simply cannot make it in society in any useful capacity, due to primarily to deficient morals or intelligence, are all turning into "politicians". There needs to be an TEST, like the moron Bush wants for students and teachers, that has to be passed before someone can run for political office.
Glen Beck said on the radio that he was thinking of KILLING MICHAEL MOORE. All this hate and ignorance is way out of control. I really wonder about the future of this Country.
BECK: Hang on, let me just tell you what I’m thinking. I’m thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I’m wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out — is this wrong? I stopped wearing my What Would Jesus — band — Do, and I’ve lost all sense of right and wrong now. I used to be able to say, "Yeah, I’d kill Michael Moore," and then I’d see the little band: What Would Jesus Do? And then I’d realize, "Oh, you wouldn’t kill Michael Moore. Or at least you wouldn’t choke him to death." And you know, well, I’m not sure.
http://mediamatters.org/items/200505180008
:laughs: :LOL: MMIIXX! Bad "herd" day, indeed! On the subject of Bad Hair Days — why is it the CONS wear such awful toupees? Maybe it’s the "pee" in the toupee?
YAAHOO! #7 BeJammin! Thank You for posting this! HOORAY! There is some hope left for integrity in our judicial system!!!
Brad or somebody — is there a link to the goat raping incident? Is this something that runs rampant in the CON party?
Bizarre Sex Habits of The Extreme Right-Wing
Could it be? Goebbels’ Operations Party
MY PET GOAT [UNCENSORED]!
See self-acknowledged leader of the “freeper world” “do” pet goat while the “Towers of Democracy” burn.
OT
(LOS ANGELES, CA) — Porn star and former gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey will be joining her boss, Kick Ass Pictures president Mark Kulkis, in attending a dinner with President Bush in Washington, D.C. on June 14th. Kulkis was invited to attend the event by the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC), which is organizing the event.
http://michaelmoore.com/words/index.php?id=2703
I HOPE SHE BRINGS A GOAT FOR OUR FAVOURITE PLANT.
Last night, anti-abortion extremist Neal Horsley was a guest on The Alan Colmes Show, a FOX News radio program.
AC: "You had sex with animals?"
NH: "Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule."
AC: "I’m not so sure that that is so."
NH: "You didn’t grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?"
AC: "Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?"
NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality… Welcome to domestic life on the farm…"
Colmes said he thought there were a lot of people in the audience who grew up on farms, are living on farms now, raising kids on farms and "and I don’t think they are dating Elsie right now. You know what I’m saying?"
Horsley said, "You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You’re naive. You know better than that… If it’s warm and it’s damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it."
So george whats it gunna be ,me (Mary Carey),the goat or the mule ? cause I’m not doing no animals ,I’ve got standards you know!
CAN YOU BELEIVE THIS ?
Just a word up:
Seems a lot more blogs are posting a lot more comments, on the need for making 06 verifiable.
It’s sinking in….just hope they have awoken a "sleeping giant"
Good job, Brad.
What Dredd said up top. Don’t be so subtle next time Brad.
I just mailed this to Goldstein.
Your article on Lampley is quite funny.
Who pays you to write that kind of stuff? Why? Are you being told what points to adress, or is it a "creative assigment"?
Reminds me of Goebbels ministry of propaganda in Germany in the 30’s.
Best
Peter Kofod
I suppose it’s the "pillow talk" phase of these apparently pervasive Republican screw-your-own-pet-and-save-a-buck backyard sexual obsessions that plant the true seeds of the intellectual conservativisms "tight-ass" opinion and policy.
How many ways can you interpret Baaaaaad. Baaaaaad. Baaaaaad?
The encouraging thing is that Goldstein is trying to impress people by calling himself an intellectual. That’s progress, in an anti-intellectual environment.
George Bush would rather sneer at intellectuals than pretend to be one. Not that he could convince anyone, if he tried…except people who don’t know what the word means.
RLM #20
Yes, we know that the bu$hit doctrine is at its heart anti-intellectual.
But as has been said by you, myself, and others here we do better to expose the neocon element and adhere to moderates in both/all parties.
One Republican governor just fired a government "servant of the people" for making a racial slur (link here).
One would think that after Lott went down in a flash after doing that most of the neocons would get low and hunker down.
Not so it seems. Or perhaps they just can’t control themselves?
Dredd #21
My take–as far as Lott is concerned —is a bit different from yours.
I do not think that Lott’s talk which was a revelation of racism was of concern to the neocons. That kind of talk was common in private and public, but his speaking was an appeal to bush’s base and the Rove-ian (and bush) game plan was that all talk should start with bush as ‘leader’. Lott was not following, Lott was carving out some bush base and had to be punished and demoted.
Cole #22 If what you say is correct, and I do not dispute it for the purpose of this post, then the power base that ousted him was not neocon.
If Lotts racist remarks did not bother neocons and they applaud it and Lott still was ousted, then the majority who are not neocons but are moderates, carried the day.
The fact that major legislation is being threatened by presidential veto shows that the ‘leader’ does not have all the say. The congress passes the legislation anyway over the president’s threats.
His veto of major and popular legislation and his lust for patriot act fascism legislation leads to the neocons loosing more of the hearts of the people who are supporting him (which is already a minority) and the congress is getting wise to it.
Nevertheless I agree that the neocon element is the squeaky wheel that is getting the grease for the most part at the moment. But that grease still does not include the support of most of the people.
I would not claim that my #22 is ‘correct’-it is more based on conjecture and the rapidity of Lott’s fall.
There was also a failure of the usual ‘rally around’ a comrade that they always pull. My conjecture is that Rove wanted him gone, for reasons expressed, and probably more (privately held) and for the purpose of moving Frist into the post.
Neocons and/or moderates would all bow down to the Rove wants. If Rove wanted to protect him there would have been a deluge of calls prompted and made. The Mess media would have sidestepped and he would still be Speaker.
Where was bush’s prized ‘loyalty’? Nowhere!
Lott was to be made gone, all that was needed was a reason. And they ‘rewarded’ Lott by giving him a halfass post so he would not go away mad. Now Frist is postioned for ’08 probably as a Jeb V.P.
Rove will rise again.
Goldstein the Goat-fucker sounds like an interesting and colorful masher! I wonder if he can fix me up with a bunch of goats!
By the way, I’m looking for a copy of MY PET GOAT. Does anybody know where I can obtain a copy? What’s more Bush and Kerry want to screw a bunch of goats too! Goldstein the Goat-fucker, can you fix them up too? I love goats!