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By Brad Friedman on 3/3/2004 1:23pm PT  

Good news! As a followup to my recent article on the Done Deal that is Gay Marriage, and in light of the many impassioned comments that article has engendered, I've learned a couple of things.

I've come to realize, of late, that I've been too hasty in overlooking the self-proclaimed accomplishments of our "President". As you know, he and his minions have been highlighting his undeniable successes in the "War on Terror".

The facts, they suggest, speak for themselves: There's not been a single terrorist attack on American soil since 9/11. Not one!

Putting aside the Anthrax Attacks for the moment - as they do - I believe it's only fair of me to acknowledge what a success Dubya has been on this count! There's not been a single attack! His strategy is clearly working!

In light of that success, and logic, I've also now come to realize another thing. Gay Marriage in America is an equally undeniable success! In fact, Gay Marriage may have single-handedly brought the Sanctity back to the Institution of Marriage in this country!

The facts speak for themselves: There has not been one single Gay Married Couple in this country, since Gay Marriage began, to file for a Divorce! Not one! Ever!

Gay Marriage has a 100% success rate! Clearly, by Dubya's own logic, this accomplishment is undebatable! It does, however, disturbingly highlight the Crisis we're now facing in regards to Heterosexual Marriage in America, which has a Divorce Rate of more than 50%.

I'm seriously concerned that Heterosexuals are making a mockery of the Sacred Institution of Marriage, and in light of this crisis, I and am calling for an immediate Constitutional Amendment banning Heterosexual Marriage in America. This step is a necessary one if we are to preserve the Sanctity of Marriage in this country. I'm sorry to say, it's the only thing we can do, at this time, in light of the disturbing statistics that are now ravaging many of the great cities in our land.

Please join me in this effort. May God bless you, and may God bless America.

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'Bout time.
By Brad Friedman on 2/20/2004 12:52pm PT  

"The fact of the matter is, we live in a free society, and freedom means freedom for everybody...And I think that means that people should be free to enter into any kind of relationship they want to enter into. It's really no one else's business in terms of trying to regulate or prohibit behavior in that regard...The next step, then...is the question you ask of whether or not there ought to be some kind of official sanction, if you will, of the relationship. That matter is regulated by the states. I think different states are likely to come to different conclusions, and that's appropriate. I don't think there should necessarily be a federal policy." - Dick Cheney on 'Gay Marriage' during the 2000 Vice-Presidential Debate

That was then. This is 2004. And now Vice President Cheney whistles a different tune. He now supports a ban on gay marriage.

Well, you could knock me over with a feather! A Republican as cynical hypocrite?! What were the odds?! Usually such occurences are happily overlooked by the Marching Band of Right Wing Footsoldiers in flyover country. But in this case, it makes the new GOP line against Kerry ("He's on both sides of every issue" - which he is, by the way!) a particularly hard sell. Even the Ditto Heads ought to be able to notice the transparency of that particular game as it relates to Election '04's number one social issue.

That said, by the time November rolls around, I don't believe it'll all make much of a difference either way what anybody has to say about it. The wall seems to be finally coming down, and the GOP and DNC are as powerless to stop it as East German Chancellor Erich Honecker was to stop the Berlin Wall from toppling in '89.

All eyes now on Chicago where Mayor Richard Daley has said that he'd have "no problem" with city commissioners offering marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

And so it goes. Another barrier falls. The greatest singular moment in History for the Gay Community since Stonewall. And it's about frickin' time.

UPDATE 2:21pm: And here goes New Mexico!

Irony Drippin' Quote of the Day:
"I have ultimate confidence in the American People's ability to separate B.S. from the truth." - Rush Limbaugh during the first broacast hour, 2/20/04

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By Brad Friedman on 2/4/2004 9:55pm PT  

Bill Clinton believed there were WMD's. So did the French and the Germans and the British and the Russians and the UNITED NATIONS for Christ sake!

How many times will we have to sit around listening to Sean Hannity et al repeat that blather before we can find a Media-Approved-Liberal who is smart enough to pipe up and say "RIGHT, THEY DID! BUT THEY DIDN'T SEND OUR BOYS TO WAR FOR IT, YOU JACKOFF!".

You'd think the level of certitude required for a "Pre-emptive Strike" would be a bit higher than "Uh, well, geez, Bill Clinton said they were bad guys too!"

Just about everybody who reads this, and knows who Scott Ritter is, most likely owes him an apology.

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By Brad Friedman on 1/25/2004 12:18pm PT  

FACTS:
+ I was right about Howard Dean's rant. It's kept him in the news, and the fact that he placed a disappointing 3rd place in Iowa out of the news.

+ Nobody was "frightened by Howard Dean" in that rant other than the Media who saw a story ("See! He's unstable!" - which, of course, he isn't).

+ Dean is coming back in the polls now, only 7 points behind Kerry according to Zogby, who was the only pollster to actually get it absolutely right in both the '00 and '96 elections. Everyone else got it wrong.

+ In case you need further proof, the Media continue to call Dean "dead". Nuff said.

+ The best thing that could happen for the Dems is this 4 (or 5 or 6) man scrum at the top. More media attention for the Dems than money can buy.

+ Those who have claimed - for the past year or more - that Bush is undefeatable were/are wrong. If you have any doubt, you must not have seen his State of the Union address. He's in big big trouble, as long as the Dems don't screw it up. Nominating Kerry might be a screw up. We'll see.

+ John Edwards will be the VEEP nominee to either Dean or Kerry.

+ Kerry (most likely) wins NH, but not by much. But it's enough to make him the new "front runner" and begin to receive the wrath of FOX and RUSH. Which is great for Dean.

In other news, David Kay has resigned his commission as top US WMD Seeker in Iraq. And has found a resounding nothing. Not good for Bush.

And in case you were wondering what all we actually were fighting for in Iraq, here's a picture of the next leader of Iraq - as soon as they are allowed the freedom of elections:


Ayatollah Sistani,
Next Leader of Iraq

Look like any one you know?


Ayatollah Khomeini,
Former Leader of Iran

I guess we really thought this one through, huh?

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