Both Attorney-General John Ashcroft and Commerce Secretary Donald Evans were booted resigned just moments ago.
And they were so darn effective! What a shame that, like Fallujah (where at least 16 American troops have been killed in the last 48 hours), this terrible news just happened to break after the election! What luck!
UPDATE: In related news…in case you didn’t notice…The “Orange” security alert in both D.C. and NYC was lowered back to “Yellow” for the first time the day after the election and today pedestrian traffic was once again re-opened on Pennsylvania Ave. in front of the White House. The timing for all of these events should continue to not be noticed in any way. Thank you.
UPDATE: Looks like Ashcroft submitted his resignation on Nov. 2. Election Day. But, always in the service of politicizing justice, he remarked in his resignation letter:
I have handwritten this letter so its confidentiality can be maintained until the appropriate arrangements mentioned above can be made.
But rest easy! He also informed the “President-Elect”:
Phew! Thank you Mr. A-G!
And now, ladies and gentlemen, for (hopefully) the last time…The Attorney General sings.









Is Ashcroft leaving to head up to the Supreme Court for Rehnquist? Will Guiliani take his place?
I’m going off to drink. I was excited by this when I first heard it; now I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Anyway, I found you as I scrolled down all the comments on A Sad American’s Open Letter to the Democrat’s. Why the hell did it take 100 comments before anyone (you, in this case) mentioned the patently obvious? This journal was created ONLY for that one letter? Come on…
I’m guessing the reason for that is the intended audience is made up of the gullible and easily fooled.
Look who they voted for after all.
Thanks for noticing, Nilo. Please don’t be a stranger.
Although my dearest hope is that since the rumor concerning Mr. Ashcroft’s pancreas was a big factor in his resignation that the idea of nominating one sick guy to replace another is unlikely. However, more effed up things have happened. i dont buy the pancreatis explanation anyway, i think he just ran across one too many calico cat (they’re familiars of Satan, you know) in DC.
I am a resident of the State of Missouri. Four years ago the citizens of this State voted for Mel Carnahan to be our senator he was the man running against Ashcroft. Oh by the way did I mention that Mel was dead? He was our truly loved Governor who had been killed in a plane crash on the way back to Jefferson City during his campaign for senator. HMMM wonder if Asscroft had a hand in that also. It really would not put it past any of these repugnant assholes that have stolen our country from us for the last 4 years and what looks like will stay stolen for another four years. We knew Asscroft was bad. We wanted him out of politics and did not want to inflict him on any other part of the Country. Unfortunately he was a successful in getting Bush to appoint him to be AG. Hopefully someone will get a damn clue that everything this man touches turns to shit. When John was Governor he ran our state into the ground. If he is nominated to the SC I truly hope that the DEMS will stand up and scream like hell and keep hom from being confirmed. If he gets on the SC we are all fucked every free loving American except for white Christian MEN will be fucked and since Heaven does not want him and hell is afraid he will take over he will be around forever he will have years to screw all of us for a long time.
Heather, you need to be careful what you say. You are judging a man’s soul and that is not your job – the is God’s job only.