Because you (and I) deserve a bit of not-annoying news for one goddamn second...
Joseph Nelson, who celebrated a birthday breakfast at the Belmont Hall and Restaurant in Manchester on Monday, told WMUR-TV he never thought he'd live this long.
The restaurant's policy is that customers get a percentage taken off the bill on their birthday based on their age. At 101 years old, the restaurant owed Nelson money.
Nelson ate scrambled eggs and ham, topped off with a piece of chocolate cake.
I'll be out for much of the day. So, in the meantime, got any other not-annoying news to share? Feel free to do so in comments, if you can find any.