CNN Admits It Cannot Prove Authenticity of Wolf Blitzer

In a shock announcement that will reverberate through broadcast journalism, CNN has acknowledged that it can no longer vouch for the authenticity of host Wolf Blitzer.

After months of being buffeted by accusations and speculation, CNN subjected Blitzer to a series of forensic tests over the weekend and determined that his beard is a polyfiber synthetic and his lack of affect was attributable to a defective chip insecurely fitted into his fliptop head.

"Though we regret learning Wolf Blitzer is animatronic," said CNN chief Bip Peterson, "this in no way undermines the integrity of the journalism he did for the network, or CNN's commitment to the reelection of George Bush."

Speculation now turns to CNN's Judy Woodruff, rumored for years to be a stick-figure pictogram, despite fierce denials from colleagues who claim to have ridden the elevator with her.

"Judy, Wolf, Larry King--none of them are real," says a former intern at the network who still has nightmares.

Officer who rallied UK troops condemns 'cynical' Iraq war

British officer sounds off. “Colonel Tim Collins, the British commander whose stirring speech to his troops on the eve of the Iraq invasion was reportedly hung on a wall in the Oval Office by George Bush, has criticised the British and US governments over the war. The officer, who has now left the Army, condemned the lack of planning for the aftermath of the conflict and questioned the motives for attacking Iraq. He said abuses against Iraqi civilians were partly the result of ‘leaders of a country, leaders of an alliance' constantly referring to them as the ‘enemy ... rather than treating them as people.' This attitude was inevitably adopted by some soldiers on the ground, he said.”

Most senior US military officers now believe the war on Iraq has turned into a disaster on an unprecedented scale

No good options.

[A]ccording to the US military's leading strategists and prominent retired generals, Bush's war is already lost. Retired general William Odom, former head of the National Security Agency, told me: "Bush hasn't found the WMD. Al-Qaida, it's worse, he's lost on that front. That he's going to achieve a democracy there? That goal is lost, too. It's lost." He adds: "Right now, the course we're on, we're achieving Bin Laden's ends."

Retired general Joseph Hoare, the former marine commandant and head of US Central Command, told me: "The idea that this is going to go the way these guys planned is ludicrous. There are no good options. We're conducting a campaign as though it were being conducted in Iowa, no sense of the realities on the ground. It's so unrealistic for anyone who knows that part of the world. The priorities are just all wrong."

Jeffrey Record, professor of strategy at the Air War College, said: "I see no ray of light on the horizon at all. The worst case has become true. There's no analogy whatsoever between the situation in Iraq and the advantages we had after the second world war in Germany and Japan."

W Andrew Terrill, professor at the Army War College's strategic studies institute - and the top expert on Iraq there - said: "I don't think that you can kill the insurgency". According to Terrill, the anti-US insurgency, centred in the Sunni triangle, and holding several cities and towns - including Fallujah - is expanding and becoming more capable as a consequence of US policy.

"We have a growing, maturing insurgency group," he told me. "We see larger and more coordinated military attacks. They are getting better and they can self-regenerate. The idea there are x number of insurgents, and that when they're all dead we can get out is wrong. The insurgency has shown an ability to regenerate itself because there are people willing to fill the ranks of those who are killed. The political culture is more hostile to the US presence. The longer we stay, the more they are confirmed in that view."

War News for September 17 and 18, 2004
Bring ‘em on: One US Marine killed in fighting in al-Anbar province.
Bring ‘em on: Thirteen Iraqis killed, 50 wounded by car bomb in Baghdad.
Bring ‘em on: Twenty-three Iraqis killed by car bomb at Iraqi army headquarters in Kirkuk.
Bring ‘em on: Three Iraqis killed, three wounded in US air strike in Fallujah.
Bring ‘em on: Iraqi working for British troops in Basra assassinated.
Bring ‘em on: Kidnapped governor of al-Anbar province executed by insurgents.
Bring ‘em on: Nine Iraqis killed by mortar fire in Baquba.
Bring ‘em on: Iraqi oil official survives assassination attempt near Mosul; four bodyguards killed.
Bring ‘em on: Two American, one British contractor kidnapped by insurgents in Baghdad.
Bring ‘em on: Insurgents execute three Iraqi truck drivers transporting US supplies.
Bring ‘em on: British troops raid al-Sadr's offices in Basra.
Bring ‘em on: One Iraqi killed, two wounded by roadside bomb in Baghdad.

The Pentagon Friday released more documents on President Bush's Vietnam-era Air National Guard Service, including a letter from his then-congressman father George Bush thanking a general for “taking interest in a brand new Air Force trainee.”

...

“That a major general in the Air Force would take interest in a brand new Air Force trainee made a big impression on me,” then Texas Rep. George Bush wrote to Maj. Gen. G.B. Greene Jr., commander of the Lackland Air Force Base Military Training Center, on Sept. 11, 1968.

...

I was surprised and very, very pleased to receive your letter of August 27th,” Bush's father said in the letter, which was written on congressional stationery. The file does not contain Greene's letter to Bush's father, but shows the letter his father wrote back.

...

“General Greene, this is a personal letter but I did want to write to you from the heart and thank you for what you, Sgt. (Henry) Onacki and the others are doing, and obviously doing well,” Bush concluded.

"Do you know what CBS stands for? Cock and Bull Story!"

"What do you call CBS News after it loses all its credibility? Fox News!"

"I believe when a President speaks, he better mean what he says."

Q Isn't it kind of disingenuous for the President to say that I'm for the assault weapons ban, but then not spend a nickle of his political capital to fight for it?

MR. McCLELLAN: I disagree. His position has always been well-known, and it's been clear going back to his first campaign for President.

Q That he was for the ban?

MR. McCLELLAN: For a reauthorization of the current ban.

Q Let me follow up on this point. For a guy who goes around the country and says, I say what I mean, and you should take me at my word --- so if he's for the ban, and he doesn't do a thing ---

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, keep in mind that the Congress is the one that sets the legislative timetable, and Congress has made clear that it's not going to be coming up. I think you've had leaders in Congress state that.

Q But the President didn't work for it to come up. I mean, nobody --- everybody understands how this process works. The President wants tax cuts, he lobbies all over the country ---

MR. McCLELLAN: That's why the President has taken strong steps to make sure we are combating violence committed with guns. And that's why we have a strong record ---

Q He was happy to let the authorization lapse, wasn't he?

MR. McCLELLAN: Oh, you know that's a ridiculous assertion.

Q Name one thing, one step that the President took to have the assault weapons ban reauthorized?

MR. McCLELLAN: That's why I said, Ron, his position has been very well-known. We've restated that position. It remains unchanged. But he does not set the legislative timetable. Members of Congress set the legislative timetable. And Congress has stated --- congressional leaders have stated that it's not going to come up for a vote.

Q Is there one congressman, one congressional leader who he has called in Congress, and said, please put it on the timetable?

MR. McCLELLAN: Let's debate the real issue here --- and we're proud to debate the record on combating violence committed with guns, because we have a strong record of strictly enforcing our laws and reducing crimes committed with guns, if you look at the record.

Q And the President has a strong record of lobbying very hard for legislation he truly supports. Name one person who he called to lobby on behalf of legislation.

MR. McCLELLAN: --- his position has been made well-known.

Q So there's nothing more he could have done to get the ban extended?

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, I think members of Congress have stated --- congressional leaders have stated that it's not going to be coming up for a vote.

Q Has he ever mentioned it in a speech that you can remember, I mean, as he goes around the country, ever mentioned the assault weapons ban?

MR. McCLELLAN: Certainly we're going to continue to talk about the strong action that he's taken to combat violence committed with guns, Ben. I think that's the --- it goes to the real issue here. You brought up the issue of whether or not this was effective, in terms of the assault weapons ban. That's something that people have continued to debate. But this President has led when it comes to combating violence committed with guns. And so we welcome a discussion of the record.

Q I've heard him bring up lots of legislation he wants passed as he goes around the country. I've never heard him bring up, I want to see the assault weapons ban ---

MR. McCLELLAN: No, he's made his position very well-known. So I disagree with that assertion.

Q Can you name one person who he's called on the Hill on behalf of this legislation?

MR. McCLELLAN: Look, members of Congress know his position very well, Ron.

Q So has he made a call to any of them?

MR. McCLELLAN: His position is very well-known, Ron, and members have known his position. And it's been discussed with members, too.

The Harris poll, conducted by telephone Sept. 9-13, shows Sen. Kerry leading Mr. Bush 48% to 47% among likely voters nationwide. The poll also found that a slender 51% to 45% majority doesn't believe that Mr. Bush deserves to be re-elected.