I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion USD. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gramm, lobbyist for UBS, who (God willing) will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a former U.S. congressional leader and the architect of the PALIN / McCain Financial Doctrine, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. As such, you can be assured that this transaction is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson
I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who gets those stupid E-mails. Nice twist. Large or small schemes are still schemes.
“Decisions By The Secretary…Are Non-Reviewable…And May Not Be Reviewed By Any Court Of Law Or Any Administrative Agency”
Trust me I know what I’m doing…
Conflict Of Interest? Report Says Goldman Sachs ‘Among Biggest Beneficiaries’ Of Paulson’s Bailout
`I’ve been saying it for a while now that Republican Depression #2 is marching on…just wait and see what happens next.
This is a tragedy or as Naomi says, “a disaster”.
Stand by for more privatization of Government services, this time we have no FDR to help bail us out.
Now we have people like T-Bone Pickens to give us the shaft, he and his investors get the T-Bone, we get the Pickin’s
We are toast.
Wilburrr… ~ Bailout BUPKIS ! … Notta fuckin dime … Capish …
How did we get to this? These people in this administration are criminals. We should all be protesting in the streets.
If only we could elect Democrats to congress they would certainly keep these criminals in check and … oh wait …
God love ya, Brad!
Indefatigable warrior for Democracy, patriot, truth-teller, commie-pinko community organizer, and cute as a button, too. When did you move to Nigeria? Nobody tells me anything!
I so wish I could send you some cash, can’t right now. I keep writing political songs, still trying to figure out what the hell to do with ’em.
They’re nowhere near as good as this one, though…
If I do this wrong (trying to put a link in my comment but forget how to do it) could somebody please refresh my sieve-like memory & tell me how?
Sorry to be a pest. (hey, I just had a brain tumor scraped outta my head..gimme a break!!)
Just want to share this genius song with you guys ..make you laugh..cry..shake with fury maybe?
All of the above I guess…
Enjoy.
*sigh* Gonna try again…
ya just gotta learn how to do links
[Just type what you’re going to type. Highlight the words you want to turn into a link. Click the link button. A box comes up and you past the URL into that box and post it. The code pops up in your comment box. You post your comment and Bob’s yer uncle. If that’s too involved for you, just paste the URL directly into the comment box and the software will turn it into a link for you. –99]
Dammit!! Hahaha, trust me, it’s a good damn song!! Sorry 🙁
[All fixed. –99]
Do the math.
This is not about bad mortgages. It’s far too big. One trillion dollars is equal to one million mortgages worth $100K each. So that means that in your average state, 20,000 borrowers have defaulted. Really? Where are all these homeowners in my state hiding? Why don’t I see foreclosure signs and boarded up houses everywhere? I don’t. And you don’t either–at least not enough of them.
What’s really going on?
It has always been the Republican dream, going back to Reagan, and David Stockman, his economic advisor, to somehow put the country so far into debt that we would simply HAVE to default on our obligations, and fold up business as a country, and declare bankruptcy, tear up the constitution, and just start all over again, making a new contract, forget about the ole U.S. of A. and social security and so on because that’s all bankrupt. And instead, we’ll start operating under a new set of rules. You can look it up in David Stockman’s book. He says as much.
It looks to me like that’s where we’re going, if we do this deal.
Oops. Let’s do that math over again. I was off by a factor of 10. One trillion is worth one million times one million. So that would by one million mansions, each worth one million dollars. Or 10 million NICE houses if each is worth $100K. And that works out be not 20K homes per state, but 200K homes in each state. And I think that my guess of $100K per mortgage is really rather high, because a relative of mine bought a nice house for $50K. So that’s another factor of 2, or 400,000 potentially foreclosed homes in each state…
See what I mean about the math not working? Where are all these homes? We would see them everywhere and we don’t. They would get burned down for the insurance money, and the volume of smoke would have brought on the next ice age already.
It’s off by an order of magnitude. We’re being lied to here.
It’s enough money to run another Iraq war. Bush has been trying to lock us into some kind of ridiculous thing to tie up our money and government, so we can’t get out of that bathtub they keep trying to drown it in.
What’s he care whether it’s mortgages or war with Iraq or war with Russia or war with Pakistan? It’s all the same financially.
We can solve whatever mortgage problems we have with much simpler changes to law. Heck Gramm got us into this with just a few pieces of paper. Shouldn’t cost much to rip ’em out.
Wouldn’t we all pay good money for a ticket to see a bunch of CEOs of bankrupt companies spanked. Would they cry if we ripped away their golden parachute to reveal they’re just stupid?
Hilarious letter Brad. I’m glad somebody added some levity to all this. Naturally I passed the chain letter along to my closest 1000 friends.
Ha!
Re #8,
Aahahaha! Thanks for coming to my aid, 99, you are a gentlewoman and a scholar.
Now there’s an actual SONG for ya in that link 🙂
“But Clinton Got a Blowjob”
Enjoy!
Joan:
Loved the song!
Larry,
Yeah me too! I’ll thank you on behalf of Eric Schwartz (I think that was his name)