11 Responses

1. 

   1)

   Dredd said on 12/21/2005 @ 8:19am PT: [Permalink]

   Scare the hell out of every one and then promise to keep them safe from the bad guys.

   This was started by the ancient politician Nimrod of Babylon (modern day Iraq). Sadam Hussein is a great fan of Nimrod, the first neoCon.

   The real thing to be afraid of is what is in the minds and emotions of such neoCons. That would be a garbage heap of overstatement, exaggeration, and even lies.

2. 

   2)

   Chrissy said on 12/21/2005 @ 8:30am PT: [Permalink]

   Christmas…grrrrrr.

   Has anyone been reading the Dead Guy cartoons on the first Christmas?

3. 

   3)

   Jeff McTiernan said on 12/21/2005 @ 8:32am PT: [Permalink]

   Don’t worry kids, Santa is packing.

4. 

   4)

   Jo said on 12/21/2005 @ 8:42am PT: [Permalink]

   HO HO HO. Santa is packin’ heat and the Grinch has his vote….
   Merry Christmas!

   Cheney Breaks Senate Tie on Spending Cuts
   By ANDREW TAYLOR, Associated Press Writer

   51 minutes ago

   Vice President Dick Cheney arrives at his office on …
   WASHINGTON – The Republican-controlled Senate passed legislation to cut federal deficits by $39.7 billion on Wednesday by the narrowest of margins, 51-50, with Vice President Dick Cheney casting the deciding vote.

   The measure, the product of a year’s labors by the White House and the GOP in Congress, imposes the first restraints in nearly a decade in federal benefit programs such as Medicaid, Medicare and student loans.

5. 

   5)

   Robert Lockwood Mills said on 12/21/2005 @ 9:25am PT: [Permalink]

   "On the 12th day of Xmas, Bushie gave to me

   Twelve freepers freeping

   Eleven trolls dissembling

   Ten Texans scheming

   Nine touch screens flipping

   Eight Ohioans cheating

   Seven lobbyists bribing

   Six press guys spinning

   FIVE CONSPIRACY RINGS

   Four bullet points

   Three damn lies

   Two election frauds

   AND A PARDON FOR ALL TREACHERY

6. 

   6)

   lori said on 12/21/2005 @ 9:30am PT: [Permalink]

   Wha?!

7. 

   7)

   bluebear 2 said on 12/21/2005 @ 12:55pm PT: [Permalink]

   Oops,

   Guess I need to scroll down more often!

   Just posted this card at Dredd’s Open Blog.

   Pretty sick if I must say so.

   What kind of gun would baby Jesus carry?

8. 

   8)

   bluebear 2 said on 12/21/2005 @ 12:59pm PT: [Permalink]

   RLM #5

   I think it’s a hit. Opening at #8 on the hit parade.

   The Eight Ohioans cheating is a heck of a tongue twister though!

9. 

   9)

   Dredd said on 12/21/2005 @ 2:57pm PT: [Permalink]

   I agree with BlueBear 2 …. RLM your #5 is a number one.

10. 

    10)

    Robert Lockwood Mills said on 12/22/2005 @ 3:59am PT: [Permalink]

    Thanks for the compliments, guys. I was going to send it to Bill O’Reilly and change the word "Xmas" to "holiday." But it didn’t rhyme that way.

11. 

    11)

    Jim March said on 12/22/2005 @ 4:36pm PT: [Permalink]

    Writing on my own time here 😀 the most important thing Jeff Snyder ever wrote (in 1993) is here:

    http://www.rkba.org/comment/cowards.html

    Yeah, the card is a bit wild :laugh: but…not as funny as Dave Workman’s classic:

    —————–

    ‘Twas the night before Christmas, cold, dark and foreboding,
    As I sat at the workbench, quite busy reloading,
    The empties from autumn were polished so clear,
    For primers and powder, and bullets from Speer.

    And Sierra boat-tails, and Nosler´s Partitions
    (My bench ain´t no place for brand name omissions!)
    All sat in their boxes, right next to the press,
    With dies from Pacific, and RCBS.

    When all of a sudden there came such a jolt,
    I grabbed for my Mossberg, and whipped out my Colt.
    As I spilled Hodgdon’s powder all over the shelf,
    I scrambled for cover, just to protect myself.

    From up on the rooftop, came hoofbeats and snorting,
    Like the noise out of L’l Rock, from Clinton’s cavorting!
    I eased off the safety, to press-check my auto
    With 230-hardball, I´d knock ´em all blotto.

    Were these rogue federal agents, sent by Schumer and Reno?
    Or a staggering Ted Kennedy, in bad need of Beano?
    My question was answered with a knock, and some sneezing,
    "It’s Santa, you moron, lemme in there, I’m freezing!"

    I flipped off the dead-bolt and threw the door wide,
    To find St. Nick a’shivering, Rudolph by his side
    He eyeballed my Springfield, with a nod of approval
    "You’re all set," he said, "for dirtball removal."

    "But this is no raid, we’re not here to harm you
    Or persecute, prosecute, or even disarm you."
    Instead, said dear Santa, he needed to borrow
    My .357, ’till day after tomorrow.

    "Its okay," he assured me, with a hint of frustration.
    "I’m enrolled in the National Rifle Association."
    He showed me his card, ’twas a Life Member rating
    "I’ve had this since me and the missus were dating!"

    "And you see, Dave ol’ buddy, I’ve gotten real nervous
    Since Feinstein was elected, with a promise to serve us."
    So henceforth as I´m out there, my presents a’stackin’
    "I want to assure you, I´m legally packin’."

    "And my gift for you this year, should give you a hoot
    "I´ve told the Supreme Court to give Brady the boot!
    "Now, Rudy and I must be on our way."
    He said, as he climbed back on the seat of his sleigh.

    With the reins in his hand, and my Smith in his pocket
    He jingled the sleigh bells and was off like a rocket.
    With a pair of speed loaders, and ammo to spare
    I knew he´d be safe, he was loaded for bear.

    As he faded from view, I could still hear him calling,
    "From DC, where ‘PC’ is already falling,
    "To bad guys in LA, Detroit and Atlanta:
    "I´m licensed to carry. Don´t be messin’ with Santa!"

    ========================
    He followed that edition another year with this titled "And then… Two Days Later…":
    ========================

    ‘Twas the day after Christmas when Santa returned
    He was looking quite happy, all trim and sunburned
    His sleigh had been emptied, and I’ll bet you’re all guessin’
    If he did the same thing to his borrowed Smith & Wesson

    Well the fact of the matter is in need of reporting
    Like the press ought to do about Clinton’s cavorting.
    Seems Santa encountered some trouble ‘long the way,
    ‘Cause some not-too-bright dirtbags tried to hijack his sleigh

    When he left Christmas Eve, he was ready for action
    And he made real good time, thanks to reindeer hoof traction.
    He had rag dolls, and capguns, baseballs and bats,
    New dresses, toy airplanes, and a few dogs and cats.

    Seems these wannabe grinches thought they were hot shooters
    So’s a bunch of ’em tried to be Christmas gift looters
    But the one thing they hadn’t expected to meet,
    Was a licensed St. Nick, packin’ full magnum heat.

    The night was still young, when these dipwits appeared
    Their caps all turned backwards; at least one had a beard.
    They were trying to look vicious, as they stood in his path,
    He could tell in an instant that they needed a bath.

    One fool made a grab for Comet and Cupid,
    But froze when St. Nick had yelled, "Hold it there, stupid!"
    When he leveled my sixgun at this crazy-eyed fellow,
    The snow at his feet turned a pale shade of yellow.

    "It was over real quick," Santa said with a chuckle.
    As he hauled out my Smith from behind his belt buckle.
    "Never fired a shot, never pulled back the hammer.
    Got the cops on my cell phone, and sent ’em all to the slammer."

    After that much excitement, ’twas a rest Santa needed.
    So with his gift-giving, he quickly proceeded.
    And when he was finished, Santa issued this order:
    "Rudolph, old pal, takes us south of the border!"

    So now he was rested, and this stop was his last one.
    And he made it real clear that it must be a fast one.
    With my piece back in lockup, he said "Thanks for the loan.
    Next year, rest assured, I’ll be packin’ my own."

    And just what, did I wonder, might then Santa unlimber?
    A Colt, Sig or Taurus, a Glock or a Kimber?
    Perhaps Heckler & Koch, a Kahr or a Ruger?
    A wheelgun from Rossi, a Walther or Luger?

    "I’m not sure," replied Santa, as he scoped out the weather.
    "But I’ll contact your buddy, Mitch Rosen, for leather.
    And now I must leave you, until late next December.
    But Dave, I assure you, I will always remember.

    "You did me a favor, and that’s one I owe you.
    So when I get my own gatt, I’ll be certain to show you.
    In the meantime, ol’ buddy, I’ll scream it, I’ll shout it.
    If you’re licensed to carry, don’t you leave home without it!"

    -Dave Workman

    ———–

    See? Even us gun nuts have a sense of humor :D. And at least two of us are involved in election reform 😎 – I dragged John Washburn into it from a 2nd Amendment forum.

    Jim March